Kdoshey Kahir 8 St.
Holon 16806
April 29, 2010

Columbia University Board
8 Goerge Washington St.
New York, NY

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Tyler Durden, I am a fresh high-school graduate,(New sentence) I am mostly interested in pshycology and medicine in general. My wish is that before I begin with my studies, I just want to take a short and fun course on the subject (phr. - I would like to take a short course in psycology before beginning my studies) in order to fell(ww.) the actual learning experience.

I believe you wonder(gr.) why it is your university I am applying to. Well, I have heard many positive compliments(ww.) about the learning enviroment in the classes as well as the excellent staff. In addition, I have many friends currently studying there, (New sentence)I honestly feel I can contribute to the great enviroment surrounding your school and gain from it as well.

An issue I would like to mention concerns the actual class and topic. I would like to know more about the course you are offering. Who is teaching it, what is the subject it focuses on and more.

To sum up, I am really looking forward to start my studies here at your University. I am also expecting an answer from you as soon as possible, we wouldn't want all the open spots in the course to run out. Would we?(phr. - not appropriate in a formal letter)

Truly Yours,

Tyler Durden

I am sure you can do much better than that.

(78)

Daphna

(8 Kdoshei Kahir st.
Holon)
April 22, 2010


See the World Travel Agency
(Street name and number)
(New York, NY)


Dear Sir/Madam,
/
Before I begin with the questions, I feel it is appropriate to introduce myself. My name is Tyler Durden, I currently live in Holon and plan to go on a trip with my girlfriend. I am 24 years old and work as an officer in the IDF army. I barely have any traveling experience, although I have been abroad quite a few times in my life. I have never actually traveled and went on 'adventures' abroad.

My interest, as you could have already understood, are mainly focused on adventurous trips that include walking, camping and basically connecting with nature. I believe that South America is an excellent option as well as the Far East. Those 2 places are the reason I am writing this letter. I have no clue or even a smallest detail(מיותר) on what is going on in these places. I believe you, as a CEO of a company designed to know such information, can help take the right decision and plan the perfect trip.
.
Another issue for me is the costs. I, along with my partner, have recently begun our lives. As you can imagine, we are very limited concerning the amount of funds we can invest in this trip. I strongly suggest you to take this issue into consideration when handing in your offer.
.
To sum up, I am very excited and looking forward to your reply. I have great expectations from this trip and I believe that with your company's helping hand, my partner and I will be able have an awesome trip.

Yours,
Tyler Durden

This is better. Well done.
(95)
Daphna

Fubar Ryan

19 Sokolov St.
Holon
April 8th 2010



Station Manager
The Voice of Israel'
1 Mote Gur St.
Holon

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter because I wish to suggest a program which I though(sp.) of. I tend to call it 'The Lottery'. I believe this program has the potential to become(gr.- of becoming) a hit among teenagers around the ages of 15-17.

The program basically consists of a regular lottery in which a few songs are chosen out of hundreds. Each day there will be a different exclusive genre played. Every week will be dedicated to a different specific genre. For example, Sundays will play 'KISS' and Mondays will play 'Queen' and so on. The specific songs will be chosen by a lottery so every song has an equal chance for being played.

The program will make teenagers listen to it because of their expectations that their songs will be chosen. If not, they still have a wonderful full hour of listening to new songs and deepen their knowledge in music. The program will be delivered with some sense of humor to sweeten the listening experience even more. I believe this program can be educational as well. The broadcaster will explain throughout the program what happened to the specific band between different albums and educate the listeners about using drugs and how harmful they are (How are drugs related? You need to explain the connection).

That is pretty much my idea of the one-hour long program you plan. I am really looking forward for a program like this and I am sure it will attract many teenagers if managed well.

Sincerely Yours,
Fubar Ryan

I like it.
(97)
Daphna